TEST YOUR BASIC GENERAL KNOWLEDGE....§

1. Jawaharlal Nehru was the _______ of Indira Gandhi’s Father. ?

2. Make a grammatically correct sentence by using the verb "IS" immediately after the word "I"

3. I am having two coins of Indian currency in my pocket, the total value of which comes to 75 paisa. But mind you, one of the coins is not a fifty paisa coin. How it is possible?

4. What is taken from you before it is given to you?

5.Eventhough it belongs to you, usually others use it, What?

FOR ANSWERS, SCROLL DOWN.

1. "NAME"

2."I" is a pronoun. or "I" is the 9th letter of the English Alphabet.

3.I said "ONE" of the coins, not "NONE". So they are 50 and 25 paisa coins.

4.Your Photo

5.Your Name.

That's like a true boyfriend... ( gud 1 )

A young man walked into a jeweller's shop late one Friday, with a beautiful young lady on his side.

"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend" he said. 
The jeweller looks through his stock, and takes out an outstanding ring priced at $4500. 
"I don't think you understand ... I want something very unique", he said. 
At that, the jeweller went and fetched his special stock from the safe. 
"Here's one stunning ring at $33000." 
The girls' eyes sparkled, and the young man said that he would take it. 
"How are you paying?" 
"I'll pay by cheque, but of course the bank would want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a cheque and you can phone the bank Monday and I'll collect the ring on Monday afternoon". 
Monday morning a very irate jeweller phones the man. 
"You lied there's no money in that account." 
"I know, but can you imagine what a Fantastic WEEKEND I had?"

LONG LIVE BACHELORS - K00L

Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life!!--Anonymous

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should
be happier than others.--Oscar Wilde

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.--Scottish Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.--Sam Kinison

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your
wife will give you for free. -Anonymous

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for
another thing, they die earlier. -H. L. Mencken
"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2

Marriage is a three-ring circus:
-engagement ring
-wedding ring
-suffering

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. -Anonymous

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I h! ave never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?" -Anonymous

We always hold hands. If I let go , she shops.

My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. -Anonymous

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. -Anonymous

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in." -Anonymous

Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like minature handcuffs....." -Anonymous

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in! -Anonymous

 

Funny Maths

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS


Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


____________ _________ _________



OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

____________ _________ ________

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay for a item he needs.
A woman will pay for a item that she doesn't need.

____________ _________ ________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


____________ _________ ________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

____________ _________ _________
LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
____________ _________ _________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

____________ _________ ________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
____________ _________ ________  

Awesome revenge!!!

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.

After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,”

Er...excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you? "

 

She responds in a loud voice: “NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”

 

Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them. The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.

 

After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes, and says," You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations. " 

      .. 

      ...

The young man responds loudly with,

" WHAT !!!     THREE THOUSAND RUPEES.!!!  THATS TOO MUCH ! " 

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIR! L : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light ! at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?" Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

 

What is Deadlock--Real life Example

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going

abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so

Let’s spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I

have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have

class 'coz my teacher is busy. Let’s spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am

spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we

cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my

wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This

week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I

have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend

that meeting, so make arrangement.